Many caregivers who open their homes for other people’s children assume that the parenting styles and strategies they used with their own kids are exactly what foster and kinship youth need. And yes, those previous skills and strategies can provide many types of support and love that children and youth in foster care need. 

However, there are many parenting differences and nuances that can help foster and kin caregivers support children and youth with their specific needs around grief, abandonment, trauma, and other unique familial challenges.

I recently met Annie* after hearing about how caregiving has been challenging for her. She has been a foster parent for two years, and she shared with me her experience of caring for eight children in that time and learning that being a parent herself and having a deep heart are only the beginning of caring for children and youth in foster care.

“Unfortunately, I look back and wish I could have done a lot better for some of those kiddos. And I think that is what really breaks my heart,” Annie told me. She was visibly moved and anguished. “I had no expertise. I was just a parent…I felt like had I been better prepared for some things, I would have been able to be there more for some of the kiddos that were in my care.”

Annie is going to take a break from fostering. Even as she expressed how this was the right thing for her family, she was still agonized by the decision to stop taking in children. “I would love to continue to foster. I hope to come back to foster care, I really do. I wanted to help.”

CWTS has a wide variety of trainings that support caregivers in navigating the unique challenges of caring for foster and kinship youth. No matter where you are in the process, you can always register for training, free of charge. Courses that address the different parenting needs of foster and kinship youth include Never Underestimate the Power of Grief, Cultural Inclusivity for Caregivers: Understanding and Expanding Your Role, and TBRI Caregiver Training, which explores the effects of trauma on development and behavior. Find even more in our LMS.

* I’ve changed her name for privacy.