Parenting Fairly

Most adults appreciate when others validate them and their feelings. If we feel dismissed, ignored, or invalidated, most of us would become upset. Children and youth are no different. Validating your child can prevent unexpected periods of triggered behavior or disrespect toward you or others. What does it sound like to validate your child’s feelings?

Validation is:

  • I hear you.
  • You feel…
  • You are asking for…
  • I understand…
  • It IS hard when…
  • I am here, how can I support you?

Validation is not:

  • You are wrong.
  • Why do you always…?
  • Stop now, or else…
  • You are being too…
  • This is not a big deal.
  • Leave me alone!