Quick Tips for Caregivers June 2026
Who grieves the school year?
When I was fostering, I never imagined that the ending of the school year and the beginning of our fun summer days would entail so much angst and heartbreak for the boys I cared for (and thus for me). What was I missing?
It felt counterintuitive to view the end of the school year as nothing less than pure celebration. However, for many children and youth in foster and kinship care, the transition can feel so heavy. In coming to understand why, I encountered this particular definition of grief, adapted from Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute:
Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar or cherished pattern of behaviors, events, or persons.
As much as youth look forward to the joys of being out of school, they can also experience a real sense of loss. These feelings often bump up against the excitement of summer plans. When school ends, predictability significantly diminishes. For a child who relies on routines for safety, the loss of a specific teacher, the daily bus ride, friends, and even cafeteria lunchtime can feel like a significant disruption to their personal universe.
Take and moment to consider how your child or youth might be experiencing the end of the school year. Here are a few things you can do to support your child’s grief.
- Help your child bridge this transition by creating a safe space for these conflicting feelings to operate alongside their summer fun. Begin by inviting your child to share what they will miss most from the previous school year. Ask specifically about favorite subjects, a special project they were proud of, and friends, teachers, or school aides.
- When your youth shares sadness or worry, simply empathize and validate the experience. Take caution in saying things like “You’ll see them next year!” or “We are going to have so much fun this year!” which can minimize and dismiss the child’s feelings.
- Hold space for a child to feel their sadness and grief, and help them feel safe in sharing these feelings with you. By acknowledging these small losses, you let your child know that you are a welcoming space for all of their emotions, both joyful and vulnerable. This empathy can build the trust they need to fully release from their school year and jump into their summer plans.
